— Fire Walk With Mags (@MagsVisaggs) October 11, 2019
Courtroom spectators: flip them, flip them— BoycottBlizzardHat (@Popehat) October 10, 2019
AUSAs, case agents: flip them, flip them, flip them
Judge, court reporter, clerk, U.S. Marshals: FLIP THEM FLIP THEM FLIP THEM FLIP THEMhttps://t.co/kHfxSOO0Qe
“You didn’t help us at Normandy” should be our go-to explanation whenever we have a beef with a country other than the UK and Canada— Allahpundit (@allahpundit) October 9, 2019
just laughed so hard at this i almost dropped my food container thing pic.twitter.com/t6ZN2li2tM— Brown Recluse (@ElSangito) January 30, 2017
I ordered Beats knockoff headphones off Amazon and they connect to my phone as “Baets” pic.twitter.com/wzoqqjAbAH— Taylor Lorenz (@TaylorLorenz) October 11, 2019
the update on my dad is we’re in a cab on our way to my place from the airport and he just pointed at a bunch of trees on the side of the road and said, “good place to bury a body.”— Scaachi (@Scaachi) October 3, 2019
i’m painting my nails blue and my dad just came up behind me and said, “why are you painting them the colour of vomit” which begs, i think, an obvious set of two to three questions.— Scaachi (@Scaachi) October 5, 2019
we got kids on Nextdoor now. truly there is nowhere online safe for boomers anymore pic.twitter.com/ZWafcEsimC— ouijaboards (@chalkboardsband) February 20, 2019
just forgot the word for "stapler" and had to wander round the office making crocodile motions with my hand and muttering "where's the crunchy boy"— Nastily Ghost (@unfortunatalie) October 11, 2019
The dogs keep jumping the fence, a solution has been found🐶😁 pic.twitter.com/uERAWa3F37— Owen (@TheOwenMyers) October 11, 2019
*More funny tweets.