THE LETTUCE HAS HAIR NOW. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.— Katie Martin (@katie_martin_fx) October 15, 2022
Soon it will assume its ultimate form. pic.twitter.com/YbGQXuoStH
Thérèse Coffey, friend of pathogenic multiresistant bacteria, trying to accelerate the end of the antibiotic era here. pic.twitter.com/whEtziRBJW— Dr Philip Lee (@drphiliplee1) October 15, 2022
Government appears to have a death wish https://t.co/9tMWbQWvJo— David Aaronovitch (@DAaronovitch) October 15, 2022
Jesus christ, in the UK they're still not offering a second booster to anyone under fifty according to the NHS sites.— Demonic Terrorson (@DominicTarason) October 15, 2022
Governor DeSantis makes it easier to vote in three Republican stronghold counties hit by Hurricane Ian but not in the one county that favors Democrats. https://t.co/b05UHAu2ou— Jim DeFede (@DeFede) October 14, 2022
Imagine jury selections for future high-profile trials:— IM Merc (@immerc) October 14, 2022
Judge: Any reason you can't serve?
FloridaMan: I don't want to risk being killed for an unpopular opinion.
J: Not good enough.
FM: Fair enough, I'll vote the way public sentiment leans, regardless of the evidence...
OH I AM LOSING IT. HOURS APART. After Duque Roofing worked with police to help with food after the storm, THEN their person was arrested for unlicensed (they ARE licensed in Texas though) roofing by other police. Just SO EGREGIOUS.— Shoshana Weissmann, Sloth Committee Chair 🦥 (@senatorshoshana) October 12, 2022
A bunch of things to note here
lol the robots are already killing us https://t.co/GQqchDOZmK— sarah jeong (@sarahjeong) October 15, 2022
This is an apartment building in Valletta, the capital of Malta. It houses six flats. One of those is the registered residence of one of the richest men in the world: Peter Thiel.— Ryan Mac 🙃 (@RMac18) October 15, 2022
What is he doing in Malta? Applying for citizenship.https://t.co/qIjXthsvkf pic.twitter.com/ScmmfLsGYN
Dr. Oz said “of course” he has tasted his own urine, claims medical school forces doctors to taste it, and said his curiosity for it started when he was a kid.— PatriotTakes 🇺🇸 (@patriottakes) October 15, 2022
Oz: “Aren’t you curious about your urine?” pic.twitter.com/2SgMCSe7JQ
i also got wings on a PanAm flight when i was a kid so i'm going to tell everyone i'm a pilot— Sen. Lemon Gogurt (I - Podcastia) (@Ugarles) October 15, 2022
I just hope the crabs and the adderall aren’t in the same place— Honey (@benegotherit) October 14, 2022
one vision for crypto is, like, "this is a computer game, and if i can figure out a way to win the computer game that the designers did not intend, then i am cool and clever. also the game pays money."— Matt Levine (@matt_levine) October 15, 2022
i think if you have the latter vision you might think that market manipulation is bad, though i suppose that's not logically required. but if it's a pointless fun game then the manipulation is fine, and fun.— Matt Levine (@matt_levine) October 15, 2022
LMFAO THESE REFS WERE TRYNA GET OFF THE FIELD SO FAST pic.twitter.com/VjA0edE8rd— Southside's Own (@FlowsAndolini) October 15, 2022
Garcia's delivery alone has added 15 minutes of game time pic.twitter.com/9w2rXjFHzd— CJ Fogler AKA Perc70 #BlackLivesMatter (@cjzero) October 16, 2022
The ref just went into the crowd and told the UNLV band to stop playing whilst Air Force has the ball (I think at least) 😭😭😭 pic.twitter.com/9xA9FAbXgV— Mr Matthew CFB (@MrMatthewCFB) October 16, 2022
Remembering when I found gender reveal tannerite at a gas station pic.twitter.com/tXW8lxNVRu— Technical Appreciator (@ArmyStrang) September 24, 2022
YouTubers are in a state of quantum flux. They don’t actually exist until you first learn about them, at that moment the probability waveform collapses and some guy named Cutezgecko5 springs into being with 20 million followers— Alex Blechman (@AlexBlechman) October 3, 2022
One generation passeth away, and another generation cometh: but the earth abideth for ever. pic.twitter.com/nBqPY7wyqt— 🐔 Brian Bucklew 🐔 ₑͤ＞∿＜ₑͤ ∞🌮 (@unormal) October 3, 2022
How widely used is the term? Check out this weight loss program commercial:— Hyunsu Yim (@hyunsuinseoul) October 2, 2022
“Mom, when was your Leeds era?” asks a daughter.
Mom responds, “When I was dating your dad.” pic.twitter.com/J7j6QWtIQx
@liquidverve IKEA: questionable furniture, great flowers 🌼 @kaitimackenzie #myart ♬ Habits (Stay High) - Tove Lo
@tbone319 Yo whose cat is this!? #cat #breakingandentering #notmycat #pet #funnyanimals #animals #petlover #catsoftiktok ♬ What's Up? - 4 Non Blondes
@goshanchik83 ♬ оригинальный звук - Goshanchik
*More funny posts.